Florida Man just went full Florida Man

"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats) 02/17/2017 at 09:46 • Filed to: None

1

9

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

“A Florida man is accused of planning to blow up Target stores along the East Coast in order to get cheap stock if the company’s stock value plunged after the explosions”

PS9 > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/17/2017 at 09:54

2

Sorry, but the real Florida Man has already stood up. All of you other Florida Men had your shot and didn’t take it, so you can sit the hell down with your weak-ass insider trading driven domestic terrorism schemes.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/17/2017 at 09:54

0

I’m deeply confused. After spending the thousands of dollars on bath salts that he needed to devise this plan, how did he have $10,000 to pay a guy to plant bombs and enough money left over to make his stock plan work?

haveacarortwoorthree2 > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/17/2017 at 10:08

1

What a moron. Everyone knows that you buy the put options before blowing up the stores. Jeez.

Maxima Speed > PS9 02/17/2017 at 10:10

0

Crawl back into your hole. You non- Florida man.

wiffleballtony > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/17/2017 at 10:17

1

Very Lex Luthor.

PS9 > wiffleballtony 02/17/2017 at 10:35

1

Hardly. Lex is a professional. He would have prodded an outside group to do all the planning and carry out the mission without any connection to him at all, and by the time that illegal alien started sniffing around, he’d have already donated $10k off the gains off the stock dump (minscule comparied to the returns) to the “Superman and his fights with scary alien threats ruined my life” fund, making him untouchable. The attacks would continue, making Target an unsafe place to shop, further tanking it’s stock, making it ripe for takeover...by Lex Industries.

This is just sloppy. The kind of thing superman breaks in on and stops before it happens. Bet they got all sorts of social media posts about the job and when it was going down, too. Amateurs.

wiffleballtony > PS9 02/17/2017 at 10:58

0

Maybe it was an uneducated flunky.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/17/2017 at 11:47

1

ranwhenparked > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/17/2017 at 20:29

0

This is actually pretty well thought out for a wacky Florida Man scheme. And by that, I mean not well thought out at all, but it still required a lot more brainpower than we’ve become accustomed to.